东西方的朋友关系有什么不同13

有人这样说：
对于朋友之间的友谊，中西方人却有着很大的理解上和态度上的差异...
多数中国人很难理解西方人所谓好朋友的概念。尽管随着我国的对外开放*，越来越多的西方文化涌入中国，更多的人渐渐懂得了哪些该问，哪些不该说，以尊重朋友的隐私，但是由于受到长期文化传统的浸透，双方对于保持友谊的做法上差异很大...
例如，在我们这里，一个人会很爽快的答应他的好朋友陪他去购物的邀请，即便他手头上有一些事情要做。好朋友之间会长期分享同甘共苦的感受。袒露各自的秘密。而在西方人看来，你完全可让一位朋友和你一起做某件事，但是你不要期待他会放下他在做的事，去陪你去做类似于购物那种不是很紧迫的事。即使是非常好的朋友也应该接受对方说‘不’，只要对方能够给出理由。其间的独立性是显而易见的。在西方，居住地的搬迁，工作的更换，学业的结束，婚姻的变化等等，都有可能使得深厚的友谊发生改变。这也说明他们的友谊较多地建立在互相经常性的来往上。一旦这种频繁的交往变的稀少或停止，那么他们的友谊就会凋谢并消亡。这和我们传统中所说的‘两情若到久长时，又岂在朝朝暮暮’相去甚远。中国人比较多的是希望良好的友谊能够永远保持下去，直到一生。然而，西方人在一个时间内会有很多好朋友，但是这种友谊往往同特定的条件与情况有联系。一旦情况发生改变，朋友也就发生改变。他们更多的是独立性，而非依赖性。他们不喜欢一方过多的依赖另一方。在中国，我们常常可以看到一个人对于他人在经济上经常性的资助，而在西方这可能更多被看作为让被资助方产生依赖性，也不符合他们对于个人品质培养的原则。而在中国，朋友间更多是需要得到具体实在的帮助。比如，找一份不错工作，请一位好的医生，职务的提升等等。西方人会因为对朋友带来哪怕是非常小的不便而向他致歉。在十分亲近的朋友间也使用很有礼貌的语言。而在我们这里，往往相反。比如，朋友不言谢。不必客套等等。
所有这些差异都有其深远的文化背景与传统影响。我们只能互相尊重，互相理解。了解中西方之间在观念，思维，习俗，人际交往上的差异会有助于彼此建立起更良好的关系。
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第一行是Topic
第二行是写给Easterners
第三行是写给Westerners

Sharing
Westerners are not expected to share treats that they have with their friends. It is not considered rude to buy a chocolate bar and then to eat it around other people.
Easterners consider it rude to not share treats with your friends. In a country where things like fruits and candy are rare, when one person has some, their friends share with them.

Group Dynamics
In a normal discussion, Westerners can interrupt each other. They tend to find silence uncomfortable in conversations.
Easterners do not generally interrupt each other. Especially in group discussions, there must be pauses if they are to feel comfortable volunteering their opinion. They are unlikely to ‘dive in’ to the conversation

Greetings and Goodbyes
“How’s it going ?” and “How are you ?” are common greetings that Westerners use. It is often just a greeting, and nothing more. It is not that they don’t care about your answer; they are simply saying hello. A good answer is ‘Not bad.’ Westerners also tend to leave conversations quicker than Easterners. If they get up and leave ring a conversation, they are not necessarily offended or being rude.
Easterners tend to be more formal about ending a conversation. They expect some cues that the person they are speaking with is about to leave. It is considered rude to quickly withdraw from a conversation.

Chivalry
Equality between men and women is valued in the West. To imply that women are weaker, more emotional or that they need protection can be offensive.
Chivalry is still alive and well in the East. Many women expect doors to be opened for them, to be served first at dinner, and for help in carrying heavy things

Leadership
Westerners resent being told what to do, or how to do it. Leaders in the West usually make their requests as questions instead of commands. For example, telling a Westerner “Go do the dishes”, even if you are the boss, will irritate them. “Could you help out with the dishes ?” will have the same effect, without them resenting you.
Authoritarian leadership is much more tolerated in the East, also in churches. Leadership is hierarchical, not team based. When an Easterner who is your boss orders you to do something, they aren’t necessarily power-tripping, they’re just trying to do their job.

Questions
Asking questions is very important in the West. The main way that people get to know each other is to ask questions about the other person. It is a way of showing interest in the other person. If they don’t want to answer, they will avoid the question, but are unlikely to be offended. Don’t be afraid to bring up questions or concerns.
Easterners are taught not to ask questions. They tend to get to know people more by spending time with them. If you do ask a personal question, you may have to ask several times before getting an answer. Easterners are less likely to complain about problems directly, but rather let it build up inside. There is a concern ‘not to be a pest’

Vices
Smoking and drinking are not considered sinful by most Westerners. Drinking is a part of a most Western parties.
Smoking, drinking and swearing are big no-nos in most Eastern Protestant churches. Alcohol in particular is a sensitive issue for many Easterners.

Invitations
Westerners are not likely to invite people to join them when they get together to talk. If there is a group gathered, you are generally welcome to join, even if they don’t invite you. If they are speaking quietly, or don’t look up and greet you, it is probably a private conversation
Easterners’ social get-togethers usually involve an invitation. Unless explicitly invited to a gathering many Easterners won’t feel welcome just showing up.

Work
Westerners do not take their work as personally as Easterners tend to. It is not that they don’t care about their work. They are more relaxed about their jobs.
Easterners tend to take their work personally. Tromping across their freshly cleaned floor, or showing up late when you are to be working with them can be seen as disrespectful.

Humility
Westerners tend to be more honest about their skills, and to value a high self-esteem. They are not necessarily being arrogant if they openly admit that they are good at something.
Easterners are less likely to volunteer their talents. They will wait for someone to ask them to use their skills, rather than jumping in and volunteering them.

Money
Westerners have grown up with more money than is needed for their basic needs. They don’t usually consider themselves rich, and not trying to flaunt their wealth. Westerners have a less serious attitude about money and will often spend it on luxuries.
Money is often a sensitive issue for Easterners. Many are here on scholarships, and are saving their pocket money to send back home. They often perceive that we take our relatively abundant cash flow for granted.

Relationships
Westerners can have affectionate guy-girl friendships without any romantic interest. Be cautious in assuming a Westerner is romantically interested, even if their behaviour appears intimate. If you’re not kissing or holding hands, you’re probably not dating.
Easterners tend to have a much lower threshold of what is considered a relationship. What Westerners might consider a normal guy-girl friendship can be read as definite interest in the other person. In particular, spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex is a strong sign of interest.

Language
You are probably more critical of your own language skills than Westerners are. Don’t be afraid to make lots of mistakes; Westerners won’t mind.
Its easy to speak too quickly and to use slang which has the effect of excluding Easterners. Typical conversation topics like sports and television are outside the knowledge base of most Easterners.

Friendships I
Westerners place a high value on having fun. This doesn’t mean that they don’t care about serious issues. If they see someone upset, they will often assume that the person wants to be left alone, unless they are good friends.
Easterners tend to value people being concerned about them when they are upset or depressed. If your questions are not welcome, they will indicate it, but will generally appreciate the concern.

Friendships II
Westerners can become intimate quite quickly in friendships, but that doesn’t mean that they are committed. Commitment takes longer to happen.
In the East, commitment is more closely tied to intimacy. There is an expectation that friendship, after a deep talk, will continue at the same level.

东方的朋友重利益，西方的朋友重感觉。

哇 一个人来到观音庙 准备求观音 看见观音菩萨也在对自己的头像在拜 这人奇怪地问道 为何你要求自己 观音答 求人不如求己！

只要是朋友没有什么不同，不同的只是肤色和语言，交朋友教的是心

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